Hearing Aid Rejection in Children – “I Hate My Hearing Aids!”

Why Do Some Children Reject Their Hearing Aids?

Hearing aid rejection in children is typically about more than just hearing. As children grow, issues become increasingly important: fitting in with friends, developing self-confidence, and building their identity. Understanding these emotional and social needs helps parents and teachers support children with empathy instead of frustration.

What is Hearing Aid Rejection in Children?

Hearing aid rejection in children happens when a child who previously accepted hearing aids begins resisting or refusing to wear them. This often occurs during the late elementary or tween years as children become more aware of friendships, identity, and wanting to fit in. Understanding the emotional reasons behind hearing aid rejection in children is the first step toward helping children build confidence and accept their hearing technology.

When a child who once wore hearing aids without complaint suddenly refuses to put them on, it can be heartbreaking. Many parents and teachers attempt to figure out what changed. In reality, hearing aid rejection in children often begins when they become more aware of their peers and want to feel like everyone else. This article explores why this happens and shares practical ways to help children build confidence while continuing to benefit from their hearing technology.

There is no single magic solution for keeping hearing aids on students as they enter the tween/teen years.

Why Benefits Alone Don’t Solve Hearing Aid Rejection in Children

It is ‘normal’ to want to ‘be normal.’ All children struggle with these issues to some degree. Hearing aid rejection in children is usually an emotional reaction to wanting to fit in. As children approach adolescence, how they view the acceptance of their peers is very powerful. Being an accepted member of the social group becomes increasingly important. Taking off the hearing aids, saying they don’t need hearing aids, and pretending to ‘be normal’ are all emotional reactions to trying to ‘solve the problem of fitting in.’

To the child, not wearing hearing aids is a solution to an uncomfortable social/identity situation. Ironically, it is the students with mild and moderate hearing loss, those who can hear closest to ‘normal’ with amplification, who are at highest risk for rejecting their hearing aids because they can ‘hear’ and are willing to try to ‘get by’ with the hearing that they have.

Also refer to the webpage Addressing Self-Esteem and Issues of Fitting In and Why Do So Many Students that Function with Mild Hearing Loss have Challenges Fitting In? at Mild Hearing Loss & Learning and to Being the Lone Student with a Hearing Loss at Relationship of Hearing Loss to Listening and Learning. The report Psychological Affects of Hearing Loss in Teens provides insights, especially for children who have recently lost their hearing.

Why Explaining Hearing Aids Isn’t Always Enough

The student likely realizes that communication is more difficult when the hearing aids are not worn or that they miss a lot more teacher information when they don’t wear the FM in the classroom. Providing them with the numbers will quantify this difference for the student, but it is unlikely to change their long-term mind about wearing hearing aids, since the uncomfortable reality of feeling as though they are ‘weird’ or ‘don’t fit in’ is still unresolved. Similarly, firm expectations and behavior contracts may work in the short-term but are not likely to make a long-term difference. That said, it is still important for the child as a consumer to be able to understand their hearing loss and what they can/cannot hear. The hearing loss will be with the child their whole life, and they will be asked countless times about it. They need the language to describe to others so they can understand what the hearing loss means in terms of the person’s communication needs and expectations for their communication partners.

Why Some Children Accept Hearing Aids More Easily

To really ‘fit in’ to a group of typically hearing children, the child with hearing loss needs to have age-appropriate social skills, be aware of subtle social cues, and also have high self-esteem to admit they have a hearing loss (disclosure) and be willing to take the emotional risk of advocating for their communication needs. Underpinning these skills is a strong self-concept and identity as a person who is likeable and capable. Some children are raised with mixed messages that result in them internalizing that their hearing loss is a problem that separates them from being the child that their parents wanted (see Attitude is Caught, Not Taught). In this situation, rejecting the hearing loss (and hearing aids) is an attempt to make themselves more acceptable in the family setting. Emotional ‘loyalty’ to family attitudes can interfere with the child’s openness to recognize that hearing aids are necessary for learning and academic success. Alternatively, some children come from families who have embraced them as ‘just kids who happen to need hearing aids,’ treating use of the devices as a matter of fact, as needing to wear shoes, and as recognizing them as being special just for who they are. Coming from a ‘celebration and acceptance of differences’ value base from an early age goes far in providing a child with the resilience needed to answer the questions of curious peers and feel good about ‘cool technology.’ Of course, there are some children who come from very supportive families who still reject their hearing aids, perhaps due to lack of resilience to negative peer comments or as a part of identity struggles due to other challenges unrelated to hearing loss that can cause a child to feel as though they do not fit in.

Early intervention services that include discussions of social development needs and connect families of children with hearing loss are important contributors to the attitudes that develop children’s view of themselves. Once a child is in elementary school (by age 5), it is critical for them to have ongoing connections with other children who use hearing technology. Use of the hearing devices must become part of their identity, and our identities are largely formed by our social groups. Children who are only surrounded by peers with typical hearing will be much more likely to reject hearing aids as a way to fit in. Identity is key!

Another thing to keep in mind is that adolescents are more likely to reject anything they feel ‘has been done to them.’ This is why it is so important to encourage the child to be involved in choosing hearing aid or earmold colors, asking the audiologist questions, and being responsible for their hearing devices as early as possible. If they’ve invested themselves and been recognized as being their own “technology specialist,” then they may be less likely to feel as though they were a bystander in the decision to wear hearing devices.

Confidence Plays a Bigger Role Than Many Parents Realize

Hearing aid rejection in children is rarely just about hearing. Children who feel accepted by their family, classmates, and teachers are often more comfortable wearing hearing technology. When children develop confidence, positive self-esteem, and a healthy sense of identity, hearing aids become one part of who they are instead of something they feel they need to hide.

Building Confidence Before Problems Begin With Rejecting Hearing Aids in Children

Families do not have to wait until hearing aid rejection in children to occurs to gain confidence. Talking positively about hearing loss, praising communication successes, introducing role models, and encouraging self-advocacy from a young age can all help children create a better relationship with their hearing technology.

Developing Self-Esteem and Confidence

Adolescents are concerned with how they appear to others. They are trying to reconcile “the person I am” with “the person society expects me to become.” They establish this new sense of self by using past experiences to guide their anticipation of the future. When the adolescent finds a balance between “What have I got?” and “What am I going to do with it?” they will have established their identity. DHH professionals with long experience probably know of some students who rejected their hearing aids in middle school, only to return to using them in high school, whereas others never used amplification again. The difference is likely rooted in whether or not their developed identity included a central view of themselves as a person with hearing loss or a view of themselves without the hearing loss (but possibly a view of learning challenges, inadequacy, or ‘can’t do school’).

Research by Elkayam and English (2003) identified that teens were experiencing the following themes:

Inherent isolation of hearing loss: Feeling left out of conversations; others just can’t understand what it’s like to have hearing loss; futility of talking about it with friends, as frustration still occurs.
Identity and self-concept: Difficulty being the only one in school with hearing devices; preference for being with other students with hearing loss and support staff because they understand; challenges finding a social niche; easier to be viewed as deaf but missing information sometimes rather than hearing ‘perfectly.’
Cosmetics and other hearing device issues: Hate having to explain to people; they see me as being different.
Problem solving: The classroom can be easier than social situations; there is a need for assistive devices; there is a challenge of rapid speech, whispering, people turning away, and background noise.
Self-acceptance: Blaming others for communication difficulties; desire for normal hearing; downplaying the need for accommodations when challenged by teachers (“Just forget it”); something just to deal with; being unique.

Special Considerations for Parents Raising a Teenager with Hearing Loss is a brochure about supporting full-time hearing aid use by teenagers.

The Effects of an Untreated Hearing Loss on Workplace Compensation

Why Peer Acceptance Matters

As children grow, peer acceptance often becomes just as important as academic success. Children who feel accepted are more likely to wear hearing aids confidently, participate in classroom discussions, and develop positive self-esteem. Building friendships with other children who have hearing loss can also reduce feelings of isolation.

Possible Interventions

Once we understand why hearing aid rejection in children happens, we can begin helping them feel more confident about wearing their hearing technology. Part of these issues can be prevented by building a strong self-concept and strong self-esteem from a young age. All of these issues need to be acknowledged and openly discussed by the time students are tweens to help the student become aware of “What have I got?” as a foundation for being able to positively visualize “What am I going to do with it?” as they move through adolescence.

In elementary school – certainly by the end of 4th grade – the early tweens are already aware of trying to reconcile “the person I am” with “the person society expects me to become.” If “the person I am” is the only child with hearing loss in the whole grade/school, then “the person society expects me to become” is likely to be internalized as someone without hearing loss. At this juncture, it is important for students to be connected with peers who also have hearing loss and communicate/wear hearing devices like them. Being exposed to role models a few years older who willingly use hearing devices and advocate for themselves would tremendously increase the chance that the child would develop a positive feeling about being a member of the group of “successful/cool kids who wear hearing devices.” Discussing how the students feel about their hearing aids, tasking them with describing their hearing loss to one another, developing a sense of group by sharing ‘Oh no, guess what happened to me’ stories, and brainstorming ‘you could have done/said this’ in the group will strengthen the sense of valued membership.

In addition, it is very important to also bring hearing peers into the discussion so that the student with hearing loss can understand, firsthand, how peers view them in light of their hearing needs (the SOAC-A checklist is suggested). Children need to reconcile themselves as part of the group that has hearing loss/wears hearing devices AND the group of age peers in school who do not have hearing loss, rather than only the typically hearing group, if they are to be emotionally as well as academically successful individuals. Also putting them in the important role of being their own ‘technology specialist’ can provide a source of pride and growing independence as they are better prepared to answer questions about their hearing technology, and kids really like technology, peers included.

Teen connections

Hearing Our Way Hearinglikeme.com

Hearing Journey (Advanced Bionics)

Helpful Resources for Families and Professionals

There are a variety of resources in Chapter 5 of Building Skills for Success in the Fast-Paced Classroom that have been developed or included to provide a format for conversations with children that will help them explore their feelings about being a person with hearing loss. The Peer Relationship Scale, Self-Assessment of Communication – Adolescent (SAC-A) and the Significant Other Assessment of Communication – Adolescent (SOAC-A) are available for download from the Tests by Other Authors section of this website. Other resources from Building Skills are the following:

Being able to consider themselves part of a group of other children with hearing loss and having the opportunity to talk about common issues can go a long way toward a more positive self-identity. Social group options through the school district or organized by the state may result in better test scores as more students keep their hearing aids on!

It is critical for early interventionists, preschool settings, schools, and audiologists to connect families of children with hearing loss together so that kids can spend time with other kids who use hearing devices. It is every bit as important for the family members to encounter other families with ‘cool, successful kids’ who happen to have hearing loss. There are some handouts available for families regarding self-esteem building at the end of Chapter 5 in Building Skills that may be most useful for young students.

Could the Hearing Aids Be Part of the Problem?

In 2008, a study (Franks) investigated why students aged 8-18 resist wearing FM amplification. Results indicated that there was no correlation between type of hearing loss (unilateral or bilateral) and resisting hearing aid wear. At least half (53%) believed that the primary reason for non-use was social. Students said:

It makes you stand out.
Students ask me, “What is that?” I really dislike that.
Mine used to always make weird, loud noises that attracted attention to me.
It is annoying.
If students didn’t grow up using the FM units, they don’t feel comfortable with them.
The teacher forgets to use it.
I don’t feel it makes a huge difference because I can just ask my friend if I think I missed something.
I don’t like the fact that I have to give it to the teacher.
I feel that some teachers have to use it.

Notice that some of these issues are due to poor-functioning equipment, others to resistance from teachers, and others to a lack of self-esteem on the part of the student to have the resilience to endure standing out when wearing the technology or self-advocating. Results indicated reasons for resisting using FM equipment as the following: 15% mechanical issues, 10% comfort, 10% questioned benefit, 15% lack of support of teachers, 10% inconvenient to manage FM between classes/recharging.

Hearing Aid Problems That Can Often Be Solved (Johnson, 2011)

Technology

Provides more flexibility to hear peers
No bulk or less bulk to hearing technology
Connectivity options
Cool technology
Must include aggressive troubleshooting

School/Teachers/Staff

Hearing loss awareness: hearing vs. understanding
Classroom support
Orientation and training
Enforcement: If in IEP or 504, use of hearing technology is not a teacher’s choice

If a student is resisting using their hearing devices, be sure that the devices are working properly and are comfortable and that the student and staff clearly understand the benefit and use.

Making sure that these issues are aggressively and consistently addressed AND providing social/group support discussions of emotional issues seem to be an appropriate means to support students with hearing loss so they can perform as competitively as possible in the mainstream. Better student outcomes at graduation mean a better future!

What Parents Should Remember About Hearing Aid Rejection in Children

Every child experiences hearing loss differently. If your child begins resisting hearing aids, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that they no longer benefit from hearing technology. Often, children simply need support as they navigate friendships, confidence, and growing independence. With understanding, encouragement, and the right support, many children learn to accept both their hearing loss and themselves.

Hearing Aid Rejection in Children: Key Takeaways

Hearing aid rejection in children is often rooted in social and emotional development rather than hearing technology itself…

Hearing aid rejection often begins during the tween years.
Wanting to fit in is a normal part of development.
Confidence and identity influence hearing aid acceptance.
Positive peer relationships matter.
Families and educators can help children build self-confidence and self-advocacy.
Understanding the emotional side of hearing loss is just as important as understanding the technology.

Hearing aid rejection in children is common during the tween years. With patience, encouragement, positive role models, and supportive adults, many children develop the confidence to accept both their hearing technology and themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions: Hearing Aid Rejection in Children

Why do children and tweens suddenly say “I hate my hearing aids”?
Saying “I hate my hearing aids” is rarely just a physical or acoustic complaint; it is primarily an emotional reaction to a social dilemma. As children enter elementary school and approach adolescence, peer acceptance becomes a dominant psychological drive. In mainstream settings, hearing aid rejection in children is often an attempt to solve a social problem: removing whatever makes them visibly “stand out” or feel different from their peers.

Is hearing aid rejection in children caused by physical discomfort or social pressure?
It can be both, and adults should always rule out physical issues first:

Acoustic & Physical Factors: Pain from an overgrown earmold, feedback squealing, or improper volume settings can trigger sudden refusal. An audiologist should check the device fit and programming immediately.
Social & Psychological Factors: If the device is physically comfortable, rejection is almost always driven by social self-consciousness, fear of peer judgment, or listening fatigue.

How do family attitudes at home impact device compliance?
Children pick up on subtle family dynamics and internalized stigma. If a child senses that their hearing loss is viewed at home as a burden, disappointment, or something to minimize, they may interpret hearing aids as a symbol of being “imperfect.” In these cases, hearing aid rejection in children becomes an emotional attempt to feel more accepted within their own family circle. Unconditional acceptance and open, positive dialogue at home are critical for long-term device compliance.

Why is connecting with other DHH peers critical to overcoming rejection?
When a student is the only person in their school using hearing technology, they experience the “one and only” dynamic, which amplifies social isolation:

Educational Environment	Social & Emotional Impact	Technology Compliance Outcome
Isolated Mainstream Setting	Feels like an anomaly; hyper-aware of peer judgment and spotlighting.	High risk of hiding devices or total hearing aid rejection.
DHH Peer Group Access	Normalizes hearing aids, cochlear implants, and FM systems as routine tools.	Stronger identity, higher self-esteem, and consistent device retention.

How can parents and educators guide a child from device rejection to proud self-acceptance?
To help a child transition from hiding their hearing loss to owning their communication needs, deploy this three-step support sequence:

Involve the Student in Decision-Making:
- Ownership.
- Allow children to choose their hearing aid colors and custom earmold patterns, handle their daily maintenance, and ask their audiologist questions directly. Giving them agency prevents technology from feeling forced upon them.
Equip Them with Self-Advocacy Scripts:
- Language Skills.
- Help students practice short, confident answers to common peer questions. Knowing how to explain their hearing technology in a matter-of-fact way neutralizes awkwardness and builds social resilience.
Keep Classroom Accommodations Low-Profile:
- Discreet Support.
- Work with teachers to handle FM/Roger microphone handoffs quietly and ensure equipment is muted during non-instructional moments. Reducing public spectacle removes the social barrier to using classroom tech.

What should teachers do when a student refuses to hand over the FM/Roger microphone?
When a student resists using classroom microphone technology, it is usually because handing it over in front of peers draws unwanted spotlight or because the teacher previously forgot to mute it during private hallway conversations. Teachers can overcome this resistance by establishing a quiet, low-profile routine for equipment handoffs at the start of class and strictly muting transmitters during non-instructional moments to maintain student trust.

My thanks for the insights provided in the following references for hearing aid rejection in children:

Schlesinger, H.S. (1978). The effects of deafness on childhood development: An Eriksonian perspective. In L. S. Liber (Ed.), Deaf Children: Developmental Perspectives (pp. 157–169). New York, NY: Academic Press.
Elkayam, J., & English, K. (2003). Counseling adolescents with hearing loss with the use of self-assessment/significant other questionnaires. JAAA, 14(3), 486-499.
Franks, J. (2004). Why do students with hearing impairments resist wearing FM amplification? Unpublished Master’s Thesis.
Johnson, C. (2011). “I don’t want to be different!” Strategies for Reluctant FM Users. Clarke Mainstream Conference, Northampton, MA (October).

Printable version – 4 pages: Social Needs & “I hate my hearing aids!”

Additional Resources

These are the views of Karen Anderson, PhD, who reserves the right to adapt them as she learns more from the literature and the many DHH professionals and parents who are helping students deal with these issues every day.

Originally published: March, 2012 (c) Karen L. Anderson, PhD
Last update: July 2026