Understanding Self-Identity and Hearing Loss in Children and Teens

What Is Self-Identity and Hearing Loss?

Self-identity and hearing loss refer to how children and teens understand themselves as they navigate their hearing loss, communication preferences, relationships, and sense of belonging. Positive self-identity develops through supportive relationships, successful communication, self-advocacy, and opportunities to connect with others who share similar experiences.

Children with hearing loss, especially those who have significant residual hearing, often struggle with identity. In quiet, they may be able to converse like a person who is hearing. They may consider themselves to be a person with hearing loss or hard of hearing. In increasingly noisy situations, they may believe themselves to be hearing impaired or deaf.

Why Self-Identity and Hearing Loss Matter

For every child, growing up involves developing a healthy self-identity. Communication experiences, friendships, family support, and chances to feel accepted often shape a child’s sense of who they are. Children who have a positive sense of self are more confident, more able to develop resilience, and more able to be effective self-advocates throughout life.

I’m Not Hearing Impaired!

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A 2003 study of students aged 11, 13, and 15 who were hard of hearing found that 56% did not identify themselves as having a disability. They may identify themselves as having a hearing problem, but not a disability. Those students who did identify themselves as having a disability were more likely to report feeling lonely or alone than those who did not self-identify. (Kent, B. (2003). Identity issues for hard-of-hearing adolescents aged 11, 13, and 15 in a mainstream setting. Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education 8(3), 315-324)

Understanding Self-Identity and Hearing Loss

Children and teenagers may characterize their hearing loss in many ways, based on their experiences, age, and surroundings. Some people strongly connect with the deaf or hard-of-hearing group, but others do not see hearing loss as a defining feature of who they are. Supporting self-identity means recognizing and honoring each child’s unique choices and experiences.

Struggling ‘One and Onlies’

Our identity is built upon the groups we feel a part of, as who you believe you are is defined by the groups to which you belong. With approximately *80% of students with hearing loss spending most or all of their time in the general education classroom AND with about *50% being the only one or one of only two students in a school with hearing aids/CI, it is not surprising that our students often do not form a healthy identity as a person with hearing loss. (*Mitchell, R., & Karchmer, M. (2006). Demographics of deaf education: more students in more places. American Annals Of The Deaf, 151(2), 95-104.)

Belonging Shapes Self-Identity

Many children with hearing loss are the only students with hearing technology or communication accommodations in their classrooms. Feeling connected to others with similar experiences can reduce isolation while helping children understand that hearing loss is only one part of who they are.

We Define Who We Are by the Groups of Which We Are a Part

By connecting with other students with hearing loss, or even being exposed to what other kids say, they can take steps toward feeling okay about their hearing loss. This will contribute to hearing aid retention. As a part of psychosocial development in the tween and teen years, students are trying to figure out who they think they are and who they think their social group wants them to be. When a child is not in regular contact with other individuals with hearing loss, it can be difficult, or even impossible, for them to reconcile being a student with a hearing loss among only hearing peers. This is a time when many students choose to try to “pass” without their hearing aids and/or FM, even though they know their learning will suffer. By developing a healthy self-concept that includes the identity of being an “okay kid with hearing loss,” students can reconcile being a “one-and-only” student with hearing loss without the need to discontinue hearing aid use.

Community and Culture Can Strengthen Self-Identity

Children develop self-identity through daily interactions with people and communities. Connecting with people who have similar experiences might help children know they are not alone and that hearing loss is just a part of them.

Positive Role Models Strengthen Identity

Children can witness excellent examples of confidence, resilience, and self-advocacy when they meet successful adults and peers with hearing loss. Positive connections with others help kids see a bright future for themselves.

Finding Connection Through Community

This connection can arise from meeting other children with hearing loss, attending Deaf or hard-of-hearing community activities, attending camps or leadership programs, or meeting successful hearing-impaired adults. Others may have a sense of belonging through school clubs, sports teams, faith communities, neighborhood activities, or supportive friendships.

Some families learn ASL or participate in Deaf culture. Many children use these events to communicate, make friends, gain confidence, and meet excellent role models. Other families may choose communication methods or groups that suit their child’s needs.

There is no “right” way to build self-identity. What matters most is that children feel welcomed, respected, connected, and supported as they discover themselves.

Supporting a Sense of Belonging

Children often develop a stronger self-identity when they have opportunities to

• Meet other children with hearing loss.
• Participate in Deaf or hard-of-hearing community events.
• Learn American Sign Language (ASL) if it aligns with family goals.
• Connect with positive adult role models who have hearing loss.
• Join clubs, sports, arts, or other community activities.
• Build supportive friendships with both hearing and deaf or hard-of-hearing peers.

A Flexible and Fluid Identity

We all have a right to choose our identity. This includes persons with hearing loss not choosing to consider their hearing loss as a defining aspect or trait of self, or only doing so in some contexts (i.e., with some groups or in some listening conditions). Thus, having conversations with the tween or teen about their identity and its flexibility under different conditions is critical if they are to recognize the importance of disclosing that they have a hearing loss and advocating for their communication needs, which is at the heart of self-determination.

Self-Identity Continues to Grow

Self-identity isn’t fixed. As children grow, form connections, gain independence, and explore new situations, their perception of themselves and their hearing loss grows naturally. To support this journey, children must be given the opportunity to define themselves in ways that are real to them.

To be self-actualized individuals who advocate for ourselves,
we have to know how we define ourselves and be able to convey that to others.
Megan Kemmery, PhD, Volta Voices, Nov/Dec 2014.

Resilience to Challenges

“It’s a hard time right now, but I can get through it.”

Children with hearing loss must learn to bounce back from challenges, including mishearing directions, not being able to access peer discussions, and even teasing about wearing hearing devices. Persons who have the traits of perseverance, resilience, or ‘grit’ tend to be more successful than those who do not show these traits.  Choosing to endure rather than desist is a choice that an individual must work to sustain over time. Grit requires not just motivation to achieve something important but also sticking to that goal when tempted to give up. Students who choose the identity of a ‘typical kid who happens to have a hearing loss’ will be able to achieve ‘typical’ only by overcoming difficulties through the use of technology, accommodations, and self-advocacy skills. For more information on perseverance, read or watch this YouTube video or a summary of a grit curriculum.

Building Resilience Through Self-Identity

Children who develop a healthy self-identity are often better prepared to overcome challenges, advocate for their communication needs, and recover from setbacks. Resilience grows as children recognize their strengths and learn that hearing loss does not limit their potential.

Practical Ways to Support Self-Identity and Hearing Loss

Parents, educators, and professionals all play an important role in helping children develop a healthy self-identity. Small, consistent actions at home and at school help children build confidence, develop resilience, and feel a strong sense of belonging.

How Parents and Families Can Help

• Talk openly about hearing loss.
• Celebrate strengths beyond hearing ability.
• Praise individuality and effort.
• Encourage questions and conversations.
• Respect your child’s preferred communication methods and identity.
• Introduce children to positive deaf and hard-of-hearing role models.

How Educators Can Help

Teachers and school staff create learning environments where children feel included, respected, and capable. Small classroom supports can strengthen confidence and encourage positive self-identity.

• Create opportunities for meaningful peer connections.
• Encourage friendships and belonging.
• Support self-advocacy skills.
• Use inclusive language.
• Celebrate student strengths.
• Provide positive representation of deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals.

Identity Support Checklist

• Does the child feel accepted and valued?
• Are hearing devices discussed positively?
• Is peer connection encouraged?
• Are Deaf and hard-of-hearing role models available?
• Is self-advocacy being taught?
• Does the child have opportunities to make choices?
• Are strengths celebrated regularly?

Self-Identity and Hearing Loss: Key Takeaways

✓ Self-identity develops throughout childhood and adolescence.
✓ Hearing loss is only one part of a child’s identity.
✓ Belonging and supportive relationships strengthen confidence.
✓ Positive communication experiences encourage resilience.
✓ Self-identity provides the foundation for lifelong self-advocacy.

Self-identity and hearing loss are closely connected to confidence, belonging, communication, and resilience. As children grow, supportive families, educators, and peers help them understand that hearing loss is only one part of who they are. By encouraging positive relationships, self-advocacy, and opportunities to connect with others, adults help children develop a healthy self-identity that supports lifelong success.

Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Identity and Hearing Loss

What is the relationship between self-identity and hearing loss?
Self-identity and hearing loss intersect when a child figures out how their audiological needs fit into their broader sense of self. Self-identity is the complete picture of how a person describes themselves, including their values, interests, and relationships. For a Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) student, a healthy identity means viewing their hearing technology or communication style as a neutral trait or an empowering tool, rather than a definitive medical label or a social boundary.

What does it mean when a DHH student feels like the “one and only”?
The “one and only” phenomenon occurs when a child is the single student with hearing aids or cochlear implants in their entire mainstream classroom or school. Without organic access to other kids who share their lived experiences, these students are highly vulnerable to social isolation. They often lack a clear reference point for a positive DHH identity, making them feel like they don’t quite fit into the hearing world or the Deaf community.

What are the key warning signs that a child is struggling with their self-identity?
Because children and teenagers often mask their emotional distress to blend in, adults must look closely for these specific behavioral red flags:

• Intentional Device Concealment: Growing out long hair specifically to hide hearing processors or “forgetting” their Roger FM systems.
• Extreme Social Withdrawal: Avoiding peer groups, refusing to join extracurricular activities, or displaying unexpected school anxiety.
• Negative Self-Talk: Explicitly expressing shame about their communication differences or stating that their hearing loss makes them a burden to others.

4. How can families and educators actively support a positive self-identity? Building a strong identity requires a collaborative framework between home and school:

Why is self-advocacy so deeply connected to a child’s evolving identity?
A child cannot successfully advocate for a need they are actively trying to hide. When a student fully accepts their self-identity and hearing loss, they shift away from a defensive mindset. This emotional security gives them the confidence to speak up in the classroom, whether that means independently requesting closed captioning, telling a teacher to turn on their microphone, or calmly explaining their communication needs to a new group of friends.

Can a student’s self-identity shift as they transition into adolescence?
Yes, absolutely. Identity is a dynamic, lifelong evolution. A young child may accept their hearing aids without question, only to experience intense accommodation shame when entering middle or high school due to the biological drive to conform. School teams must utilize proactive identity check-ins during transitional years to ensure the student’s self-concept remains resilient as their social circles shift.

What proactive sequence can families and schools follow to support a positive identity?
Building a resilient sense of self doesn’t happen overnight. To systematically guide a student from a place of social vulnerability to bold, confident self-advocacy, educational teams should deploy this targeted three-step transition framework:

• Shatter the ‘One and Only’ Dynamic First:
  • Break the Isolation.
  • Prioritize pairing the student with DHH peers or adult mentors. Seeing others comfortably own their hearing needs is the fastest way to kickstart a proud identity.
• Practice High-Confidence Self-Disclosure Scripts:
  • Build Communication Mastery.
  • Use structured role-play to equip the child with simple, matter-of-fact comebacks for curious peers (e.g., “They’re my cochlear implants; they help me hear the teacher. What game are we playing?”).
• Embed Self-Determination Goals directly into the IEP:
  • Legal Protection.
  • Ensure the student’s legal paperwork explicitly measures their ability to care for their equipment and explains their audiological accommodations to staff independently.

Additional Resources to Continue Learning About Self-Concept and Self-Advocacy:
Bullying and Students with Hearing Loss: What Parents and Educators Need to Know
Self-Concept Assessment Strategies for Adolescents with Hearing Loss
How They See Themselves: Self-Concept in Children with Hearing Loss
Self-Concept in Early Childhood: Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers with Hearing Loss
Supporting Self-Concept in Students with Hearing Loss: 3 Go-To Ideas
Self-Concept in School-Age Children with Hearing Loss
Addressing Self-Esteem and Issues of Fitting In
Teens and the Price to Pass as ‘Normal’
Reducing Stigma and Peer Victimization for Students with Hearing Loss
Bullying and Teasing: Protecting Students with Hearing Loss
Supporting Mental Health of Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing Students in the School Setting
What I Wish My Educators Had Known: 20 Tips from Mainstream Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing (DHH) Individuals

Originally Published June 2017
Last update: June 2026